MrsB

In 2012 I ran 1544 km, started doing CrossFit, got a tattoo, quit Citalopram and other than a break over summer holiday and Christmas – didn’t eat any sugar. So all in all it was a good year, even though it didn’t start very well – MrB got labyrinthitis right as 2011 became 2012 and [...]

Oskar woke up at 6:19 this morning (he looked at the clock and told me later), Oliver woke up 6:35ish in our bed. We had told them they had to stay upstairs until 7 so they patiently waited and a few minutes before 7 we all came downstairs and opened the doors to the study with the Christmas tree and all the presents.

Upon opening his first present, Oskar fell on his knees and shouted “My first wish has come true! Thank you! Thank you God for making Santa!!”

Oliver opened up all of this presents and of course has been playing with one of the smallest and cheapest items all day. Parents always go just a little overboard when it comes to Christmas :) [...]

We are taking it easy this year for Christmas – we’re not going anywhere, we only have one house guest, we only have a couple of very casual catch-ups with friends planned and a pantomime on the 28th.

Most presents are wrapped, the turkey and a new batch of gingerbread cookie dough is in the fridge. There won’t be a special Christmas breakfast or brunch or any of that – just the regular porridge or pancakes and being out and about whenever it’s not raining.

Today we went ice skating in front of the Natural History museum, it was quite a workout for us holding the kids up for 50 minutes :) Afterwards we enjoyed a late pizza lunch sitting outside – it was such a warm day! Then a walk through Hyde Park checking out the sights of the Winter Wonderland in the background and then home to a movie and mulled wine. [...]

It’s been a weekend of mixed emotions. I have stayed away from newspapers and actually hidden them so that the kids don’t see the headlines. I am not ready to explain.

If I still lived in the States I know I’d have to explain, and generally I don’t shy away from deep and meaningful conversations with my kids (more with the 7-yr old than the 4-yr old) but living in London now I am hiding this story from them… I don’t know whether this is the right thing to do or not, but it’s what I’m doing…

Other than that, we’ve had some fun moments this weekend but also a whole LOT of moaning and tantrums :| I don’t know if other parents feel the same, but when my kids have tantrums that just last on an on and on and morph into moaning that goes on and on an on – I totally feel like I’m failing at this parenting thing. [...]

10 days until Christmas – life’s still busy but showing signs of slowing down… I even took my ‘rest day’ today seriously and had a long afternoon nap :)

MrB has been coming home before the kids are in bed and it’s been so nice. Sadly I had almost forgotten just how nice it is when he comes home in time to do the boys’ bathtime and bedtime with me. I feel total calmness come over me as soon as he walks in the door and I love when all 4 of us are cuddling in our bed and reading books. It’s visible and palpable how the kids love having him home during workday evenings and I feel a lot less frantic when he’s around (I can be a bit of a stress head, especially when I have to jump straight into homework/bath/books/bed routine after a day in the office). [...]

Enough of the exercise stuff, right? It’s finally beginning to look a lot like Christmas! [...]

Oliver’s nativity play + Joseph’s oufit
Oliver not really participating because he hates big crowds
Office Christmas dinner
Five working days
Seven CrossFit days [...]

The next two weeks are going to go by in fast-forward mode – my calendar is full of notes, appointments and to do lists :| I no longer have Wednesdays off work to run errands, spend time with the kids or cook dinners. In addition, I’ve decided to join the “12 days of CrossFit” challenge at my CrossFit gym and that means that I have to fit in a class every freaking day from this Monday until the 14th of December.

There are also various work/school/nursery related Christmas functions AND a costume hunt for my little “Joseph” for tomorrow’s nativity play (eek!! so soon!!!) AND Christmas presents going overseas that need to be wrapped and posted asap. [...]

I’m back on my feet now and able to eat again. I went for a run yesterday after 4 days off and the legs were tight (especially shins for some weird reason – I never usually have trouble with my shins) but loosened up after about 5km and in the end I did 7.63km in 40 minutes. Not too bad for a lunchtime run.

This morning’s CrossFit was fab. I had hoped for burpees and box jumps (instead of lifting weights) but I got rope climbs and slam balls. Fine by me! I lost a bit of skin from my right hand from the rope but did my 5 rounds of 400m run, 2 rope climbs and 12 slam balls in 17 minutes and 52 seconds. I don’t know whether that’s any good, but my heart was seriously thumping by the end of it so I consider it a success.

I actually told the coach that I love those kinds of workouts the best and could do without all the heavy weightlifting – I hope I don’t get dis-membershipped for saying that! [...]

Ughhh… yesterday was a blur. I had been feeling a bit off on Sunday afternoon but since Oliver has a cold I thought nothing of it – my body can fight off a cold before it can properly hit me. At 1am though I was jolted awake by some serious stomach pains. I took a couple of paracetamols and slept on and off until it was time to get up. On and off meaning up every hour as I was still in pain and Oliver was in between us coughing.

In the morning I got ready for work still feeling lousy but I got on the tube regardless. I sat there for 10 minutes sipping some warm apple juice and then realised I was not going to make it – I felt so weak and nauseous, and I got off and came back home. [...]

I love Wednesdays. They are my days off work. My mental health days. My days to go running, my days to cook and to spend time with Oliver who’s in the nursery only from 9:30 to 12:30.

Today was my last Wednesday off until January 2013 – a colleague of mine had an accident last weekend I am now working full-time until Christmas and actually working right up to Christmas having had to cancel my annual leave for the week before as well.

Of course I volunteered to do this since I’m part of a small team and being one member down right before Christmas is not a good thing, so I’m not complaining, BUT it will be a little bit tough on me to do full 5 day weeks.

Today I made sure that I used the day to the max – I walked Oskar to school in the morning and then ran to Richmond park and back, 22.6km in total. Afterwards I had an hour to relax and then it was time for a little birthday celebration for Oliver at his nursery. I took in cupcakes for everyone and got to see the little Montessori ritual that they do for all birthdays – walking around the sun while holding a globe for as many rounds as they’re now old + some songs, etc.

After nursery we came home and danced! Just for the heck of it… [...]

Our little holiday in Corwall was so nice, coming back to London and running the Run to the Beat half marathon last Sunday was nice and then – then everything’s gone downhill. Little trivial things in the great scheme of things, but little things add up…

So what’s happened? Well, Tuesday and Wednesday in CrossFit have left me really sore again and for some reason I’m not able to find joy in that soreness this time. For some reason it hit me really hard on Wednesday morning that I’m at least 10 years older than everyone else in my class and just twice a week CrossFit makes me exhausted and sore. Also, there is only 1, sometimes 2 women in my classes… they are very nice but in general I feel really out-of-place in a big group of guys, I feel like a fraud, like a silly old geriatric trying to keep up with the young kids. The sabotager part of my brain has been saying: Who am I kidding? I will never have a six-pack. Those abs of mine have been shot to shreds by those lovely kids of mine. I will never be able to do 10 pushups or even a single pull-up. I’m an old woman.

I hate that part of my brain… [...]

I don’t get Halloween. The whole zombies and vampires and adults dressed up as bloody dead corpses. It’s just not my thing.

The kids though love dressing up and going trick or treating. Luckily for me they are not very picky about costumes so last year they went as Knights (because we had Knight outfits already) and this year they’re going as Vampires and a local party shop had Vampire capes for £2.99 each and teeth for £0.99 each :) I still have to get some face paint and some hair spray for Oskar because he wants his hair up but other than that – we’re ready to go! (I will just wear my blue wig and bird mask from last year, I doubt the neighbours will remember that they’re from last year :) [...]

It’s been a yucky couple of days, but thankfully my mother can sort of move again with the help of painkillers after a bad fall down the stairs :|… and I’ve almost fixed the freaky layout issues I had with the blog… and I haven’t lost my temper too badly at the forever fighting and [...]