So all in all it was a good year, even though it didn’t start very well – MrB got labyrinthitis right as 2011 became 2012 and was very sick for several weeks.

He did eventually recover and no serious health troubles have bothered us since.  I have actually hardly been sick at all this year, maybe it’s got to do with the crazy new year’s resolution I made (and actually mostly stuck to!)?

In February I ran the Brighton Half Marathon and right afterwards was out of running action for a while due to one of my knees being busted from a fall.

In March I though about Papa who passed away a year ago in March 2011… (I actually think about him a lot… not just in the month of March…)

In April I visited Amsterdam and caught up with my best friend from my sophomore year in college in Missouri – a crazy Dutch chick I hadn’t seen since 1997!  I also pondered how meaningful running has become for me and decided to screw the PND and give up Citalopram.

In May we all visited Edinburgh to catch up with friends we met while living in Canberra.  After that little holiday I spent several weeks stressing about a job situation (one that did have a very happy ending eventually – 5 months later!)

In June I answered some questions about my sugar free life that was still going strong and went to Britmums again to catch up with all the great friends I’ve made through blogging.

In July and August I took 9 weeks off work and spent most of it in Estonia.  And because it’s a miserable rainy December right now I’m going to post these photos again to lift my mood :)

In September we visited the Making of Harry Potter studios near London and I fell in love with CrossFit.

In October I ran the Royal Parks Half Marathon and the Run to the Beat Half Marathon.

In November the winter blues started to rear their ugly head (especially since I’ve been off Citalopram since the end of April).

In December we spent a lovely weekend in a spa hotel on our 12th wedding anniversary and afterwards a mad rush leading up to Christmas followed.

In total I wrote 567 blog posts in 2012 and after 7 years I’m actually calling it quits with this blog.

Only because I’m working on a new one :)

It’ll be a little “happy place” for me as I go through my midlife crisis and train for a marathon (Paris, April 7, 2013) and attempt to live not only sugar free but wheat free and dairy free as well!

Until the new blog opens up, catch up with me on Twitter, I’m ALWAYS on Twitter :)

Have a wonderful 2013! See you soon in my new blog!

Mwah!

Upon opening his first present, Oskar fell on his knees and shouted “My first wish has come true! Thank you! Thank you God for making Santa!!”

Oliver opened up all of this presents and of course has been playing with one of the smallest and cheapest items all day. Parents always go just a little overboard when it comes to Christmas :)

While we woke up to lightning and rain, the skies cleared for lunchtime and I took Oliver for a walk. He slept for an hour and I enjoyed the quiet streets.

We arrived home just as lunch was ready and the afternoon has been spent half in food coma, half on FaceTime with various family members in various other countries and continents.

MrB is making pavlova now and since I’ve already had a bit of sugar today in the form of gingerbread cookies, I think I might have some pav as well – we might not be in Australia this year as initially planned, but we can always eat some Aussie food :)

And I leave you with some photos from last night and this morning. It’s been a good day but I’m looking forward to tomorrow when everything is open again and I can take the kids for a play at a soft play centre and go for a run – I go a bit stir crazy when I’m inside all day long.

We are taking it easy this year for Christmas – we’re not going anywhere, we only have one house guest, we only have a couple of very casual catch-ups with friends planned and a pantomime on the 28th.

Most presents are wrapped, the turkey and a new batch of gingerbread cookie dough is in the fridge. There won’t be a special Christmas breakfast or brunch or any of that – just the regular porridge or pancakes and being out and about whenever it’s not raining.

Today we went ice skating in front of the Natural History museum, it was quite  a workout for us holding the kids up for 50 minutes :)  Afterwards we enjoyed a late pizza lunch sitting outside – it was such a warm day! Then a walk through Hyde Park checking out the sights of the Winter Wonderland in the background and then home to a movie and mulled wine.

Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park

It’s nice not to rush at this time of the year, it’s nice not to have to-do lists, it’s nice not to dress up for Christmas but just be us and just swing it (easier for me to say than MrB as he’ll be the one cooking :).

I hope everyone has a cozy, memorable and stress-free Christmas surrounded by their loved ones!

I got up a bit grumpy this morning (you could probably tell based on my last post) but went to CrossFit regardless. At 5:40 there was no point in going back to bed knowing Oliver would be up around 6 and I knew I was going to feel better after the class – no one EVER feels worse after exercising.

So by 7am I was in Canary Wharf again and it was raining and totally miserable outside. During the warm-up we practiced the head stand again and I usually just balance with my knees resting on my elbows. When the trainer asked whether I can lift up my knees I said “Nope”.

But then I tried. First one knee, then the other.  I was very wobbly and unsure.

But then I tried again and lifted them both up!

The warm-up finished then but I continued after I came home from work – I came up half way a couple of times and then just lifted myself up to a full head stand several times :D  I only stay at the very top position for a few seconds (sometimes less) but let me tell you – I feel on top of the world right now – I have conquered another “I can’t”.

It’s awesome to be a badass :)

Confusing signals

It’s no surprise to anyone who’s a mother that motherhood changes you. It changes you in ways you predicted (e.g. boobs – gone, bellybutton – ‘frowning’) but it also changes you in ways you never thought about (e.g. not being able to watch the news, not being able to listen to music when home alone because all you want to listen to is SILENCE).

In my case I’ve also noticed that ever since my last baby was born, I’ve actually for the first time started to have PMS :|. The fact that for 33 years I never really felt like I ever had PMS is I guess good for me, but to get it NOW is sort of not very hilarious.

I’m used to the fact that I get hormonal pimples (I’ve tried everything and I’m convinced that the only cure is menopause) but I’m not used to the fact that for at least a week every month I feel fat and totally, totally stupidly grumpy. It’s like the ‘optimist’ switch in my brain has been flicked off and every time I see someone leave their METRO newspaper on the tube (instead of taking it with them and recycling) my brain silently mutters “dickhead!”… every time I see someone giving their child a bottle of Coke, my brain goes “dickhead!”. Throwing rubbish on the ground: dickhead! SPITTING on the sidewalk: dickhead! Having horribly overtweezed eyebrows: dickhead! Talking loudly on the phone while on the bus: dickhead!

It’s like some sort of silent tourettes – every little thing annoys me and there are lots of rude words being thrown about in my head!

Ughhh… I don’t like being that person.

The upside to this is that I know every month that this too shall pass. Mind over matter is my motto, after all. Or rather “fake it til you feel it” during these weeks – I just have to go through the motions of actually not saying anything rude out loud, of still exercising and still trying to eat well so that when the madness of PMS passes I haven’t offended everyone around me AND gained 5kg (I would otherwise – my body LOVES to store weight, I have no idea what kind of a famine its always trying to prepare for! :|)

Anyway, that’s my moan for the day :) I’m sooooo looking forward to next week when my hormones should have stabilised a bit again and the optimist in my brain is back.

And by the way – has anyone figured out how to combat PMS with nutrition/herbal supplements?

Bowling on Sunday afternoon had some good moments…

It’s been a weekend of mixed emotions. I have stayed away from newspapers and actually hidden them so that the kids don’t see the headlines. I am not ready to explain.

If I still lived in the States I know I’d have to explain, and generally I don’t shy away from deep and meaningful conversations with my kids (more with the 7-yr old than the 4-yr old) but living in London now I am hiding this story from them… I don’t know whether this is the right thing to do or not, but it’s what I’m doing…

Other than that, we’ve had some fun moments this weekend but also a whole LOT of moaning and tantrums :|  I don’t know if other parents feel the same, but when my kids have tantrums that just last on an on and on and morph into moaning that goes on and on an on – I totally feel like I’m failing at this parenting thing.

I always manage to talk through these situations but long sessions of explaining/guiding/negotiating/comforting/disciplining a child are so freaking emotionally exhausting.

And then there’s the issue of them being boys and loving playing with guns and I totally detest that kind of play but I just do not know whether there is any boy who does not like to play with guns and am just hoping that them knowing not to aim at others is enough…

Feelings to summarise this weekend: Gratitude mixed with a lot of Weltschmertz.

10 days until Christmas – life’s still busy but showing signs of slowing down… I even took my ‘rest day’ today seriously and had a long afternoon nap :)

MrB has been coming home before the kids are in bed and it’s been so nice. Sadly I had almost forgotten just how nice it is when he comes home in time to do the boys’ bathtime and bedtime with me. I feel total calmness come over me as soon as he walks in the door and I love when all 4 of us are cuddling in our bed and reading books. It’s visible and palpable how the kids love having him home during workday evenings and I feel a lot less frantic when he’s around (I can be a bit of a stress head, especially when I have to jump straight into homework/bath/books/bed routine after a day in the office).

So one more week of work and then 2 off. It’ll be a quiet Christmas here in London – we couldn’t go to Australia this year but we’re looking forward to just slowing down, catching up with friends and remembering that life’s not all about work, work, work.

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The tree is fake but the gingerbread dough I made – cookie decorating takes place tomorrow night.

Oliver’s nativity play + Joseph’s oufit
Oliver not really participating because he hates big crowds
Office Christmas dinner
Five working days
Seven CrossFit days
Estonian School Christmas party
Oliver not really participating
Swimming with the kids
9km run after CrossFit on Saturday
Generally feeling sore from neck down to ankles
Totally pumped to finish this 12 Days of CrossFit Challenge
Gingerbread cookie dough made
Christmas tree put up
Christmas presents bought
MrB’s birthday present bought
Christmas packages ready to be shipped
A busy diary for the week ahead
No commitments next weekend (other than running, of course)
Ready to sleep. Right now.