How do I “cope” with getting old
Friday, 6 July 2012 
16 Comments
I’m going to ramble a bit about getting old…
When I was in my late teens / early 20s, I remember looking at women who were probably in their late 30s and thinking “How do they live looking like that?? How do they cope?” My attention was on their smile lines and uneven skin tone and lack of plumpness. I thought it must be horrible to wake up every day and look like that.
Well, well, well – I have now arrived at that very point in my life. (How the heck did the last 15 years go by so fast?!?!???)
So how do I live ‘like that’? How do I deal with the smile lines getting deeper and deeper, with sun spots multiplying day in and day out?
The answer is that I look at my face every morning, sigh a bit, but then look away and realise that I just don’t care that much.
Life happens the way it happens. I am much more confident in my skin now compared to when I was 20 (it’s probably stretched enough now to feel comfy ;).
I now have a body that can run for 20km while enjoying it. I now have a body that has made two awesome children. I now have a body that feels my own and I don’t abuse it anymore with drinking too much, or eating too much, or smoking too much (when it comes to this, any amount is too much). I do still have a couple of bad habits that are not good for me, but if I were all ‘enlightened’ by now I would not have anything else to work on in the decades to come :)
Maybe if I were single I’d feel differently? Maybe if I’d been really confident in my teens/20s I’d feel differently? Maybe if I’d been fit I’d feel differently?
Who knows. All I know is that those smile lines don’t bother me as much as I was certain that they would bother me. (The one thing that does bother me is still getting pimples, but one day I WILL get over that as well… I’m hoping menopause will help :)
How about you – how are YOU ‘coping’ with getting older?? (Only answer if you’re over 35 ;)
ha. i love this post. i’m almost over 35 does that count?
i didn’t start realizing the age thing until about 2 years ago. 10 years too late. it started with a huge sun spot right under my eye. i never used make-up, never used facial products except sunblock (sometimes). with years of swimming in chlorine and sun my face is now showing it. i’m also blaming it on my 1/4 german heritage. my father was completely gray by 45, and all my gray hairs are around my face. currently i use facial creams, & sunblock everyday. i dye my hair. i did an IPL laser treatment & love the results. i’m also taking supplements from my holistic doctor. I went to a nutritionist and started working out with a personal trainer, they helped me get fit and strong in a healthy way. My biggest concern is being an OLD mom. By the time I have a kid, I will be old, but that doesn’t mean I want to look old. Still not sure how I will handle the upkeep of dying gray hair, or the energy to raise a small child while working.
I’ve been thinking about some supplements as well. Need to find one of those holistic doctors. And I am going to do some kind of laser treatment to get rid of some sun spots. Make sure you wear loads of sun block when you’re pregnant, your face is VERY sensitive to sun then! :)
Oh I’m struggling with it. I just recently noticed some wrinkles and uneven colour on my skin and I realized that even though I don’t feel older than twentyorsomething, my body is changing and I have to cope with that change. I have to learn to accept it.
The weirdest thing IS the fact that in our heads we never get old! :)
I think I just let it all happen too. It’s in my nature sadly to never be happy/satisfied with my appearance. I do use wrinkle cream and moisturizer every day though in hopes of slowing down the process.
The weird thing is that although I know my face is a wreck, I know I can’t turn back the clock so I’ll just look into a few treatments but not fret over it too much.
I think that having accomplished something meaningful in life (whether having a family, career, both, or something else that is important to a person) and being in a stable relationship do make it easier to “care less” and accept that change is inevitable, in addition to becoming more comfortable with who we are as we age and realizing that we have value beyond our physical appearance. Although I don’t plan to have any more children, for some reason I fear the loss of fertility that comes with menopause much more than the physical signs of aging. While you can always do something about your outward appearance, that is so permanent and seems to be such a clearly defined end of a certain stage in life. I’m not there yet, so maybe that will change eventually also and become easier to accept. As for preventive skin care, I do recommend trying (organic) argan oil as a substitute for facial moisturizer. I have been using it for nearly 2 years and think it has made a huge difference. As long as you buy it from a reputable source (I happen to use the one sold by Josie Maran, but there are many others), it is entirely pure and absorbed quickly if used in small amounts, especially on still-wet skin after a shower/bath/sauna. It can be a little expensive, but not compared to many of the high-end anti-aging creams which also contain a long list of questionable ingredients. I feel good about putting on my skin, and at this point I couldn’t imaging going through the colder months of the year without it. In addition to that, I exfoliate regularly (gentle chemical peels with AHA/glycolic acid work well for that purpose and also help even out the skin tone, including discoloration from sun damage) and use sunscreen every day, and at 38 years old my skin is showing only minimal signs of aging, even around the eyes. I still struggle with occasional acne also, though, but exfoliation and use of the argan oil seem to help minimize those outbreaks as well. In terms of supplements, I feel good about taking fish oil regularly, because those omega-3s are good for the skin and hair, not to mention the brain and cardiovascular system. And red wine in moderation (mostly for the pure pleasure of good wine, but also for the resveratrol)!
I haven’t had good experience with face oils before – they make my face break out straight away. I’ll read more about argan oil though as I haven’t heard about it before.
I’m 33 and I don’t qualify for the answer yet, but I still speak/write my mind. :-)
I actually find young faces boring. They are like apples – yes, they are nice, but I prefer grapefruit. :-) I find women over 35 and actually over 45 much more attractive and beautiful, and when I grow up I want to be someone like Meryl Streep or Helen Mirren. Recently I read a magazine article where Michelle Pfeiffer spoke about her feelings of becoming 50 (and of course she is not a “regular” person appearance-wise), but she also looked lovely, wrinkles and all. :-)
I would love to look like Michelle Pfeiffer :) Wrinkles on a clear, even toned skin are not bad at all.
I am almost 43 and very conscious that being ‘the oldest mum in town’ (my boys are 3 and 17mths) I might be an embarrassment at the school gates. BUT I am lucky that I have been looking after myself well since my early 30′s and I swear I am reaping the benefits. I don’t drink alcohol or smoke, I eat organic wholefoods, I take supplements, I use a high quality organic skin care brand and I exercise. I haven’t gone down the high tec route and it is working for me. Of course the smile lines have deepened but that about it on the wrinkle front. I generally pass for mid 30′s do something must be working. I am sharing this not in any way to ‘show off’, that us not my style at all, but just to advocate the benefits of healthy, natural living which I am evangelical about :)
I sent you a long email ;)
I will be 36 in 3 months (so I think I qualify to answer). I have never much cared how I look like. I use make-up few times a year when I need to look fab, but otherwise – who cares?! After reading this I had to go and look into a mirror. What a surprise! I have wrinkles. Cool :D Finally I don’t have to prove to anyone that I am old enough to be professional. I’ve not cared about how I look when I was single or in a relationship. I know the most important thing – personality and smile will get you further than any make up ever will.
I’ve also almost never looked at older people with wonderment “how can they live with themselves?”, but mostly with “why they panic about their looks?”. Everybody gets old, don’t make yourself ridiculous while aging.
Ou, and please don’t get me wrong. I don’t care about my looks “mentally” – I do take care of myself. I exercise, I use moisturizer (my skin gets really dry and uncomfortable without it), I drink a lot of water, I don’t abuse myself with excess alcohol, food etc. I am just naturally blessed with a lot of self-confidence that lets me dismiss all thoughts about my looks as irrelevant.
I am 42.7 and at about 40.1 I first noticed that when I woke up in the morning I looked like I had been out partying all night when in fact I had gone to bed at 10pm! As someone who has always looked younger than my contemporaries I got used to looking young so it’s been a struggle watching the lines increase. I’ve wanted to blog about it for a while, but not sure how.
Anyway, I was really interested in this title on your blog because I distinctly remember looking at you at CybHer and thinking, ‘wow, she has completely beautiful skin!’ Seriously, those were my exact thoughts.
A few months ago I started using the Boots brand Protect and Perfect lotions that everyone was raving about when it was introduced. It took four weeks (as it said on packaging) and I have to say my face looks much, much better than it has in a long time. And people have commented on how good I look. I highly recommend it to anyone concerned about lines on their face.
I also try to eat healthily and exercise regularly. I know we can’t prevent some visible signs of ageing, but I want to feel good mentally and physically as long as I can–and when people feel good they just look better, with or without wrinkles!
Sounds like my expensive make-up is working! ;)
And -this is going to sound like some major sucking up but I didn’t know you were 42.7, my guess was 38.2 at most.
The main thing is definitely to feel good and healthy, it might sound cliched but the confidence that comes with that does shine through somehow :)
LOL! If that’s sucking up then feel free to do so anytime!! :D (Thanks, btw!)
Yes, cliche or not, I think staying healthy and feeling good about ones’self is the best attack against ageing anyone will find. x