Torn. Thankful. Helpless. Confused. Sad.
Sunday, 16 December 2012 
3 Comments
Bowling on Sunday afternoon had some good moments…
It’s been a weekend of mixed emotions. I have stayed away from newspapers and actually hidden them so that the kids don’t see the headlines. I am not ready to explain.
If I still lived in the States I know I’d have to explain, and generally I don’t shy away from deep and meaningful conversations with my kids (more with the 7-yr old than the 4-yr old) but living in London now I am hiding this story from them… I don’t know whether this is the right thing to do or not, but it’s what I’m doing…
Other than that, we’ve had some fun moments this weekend but also a whole LOT of moaning and tantrums :| I don’t know if other parents feel the same, but when my kids have tantrums that just last on an on and on and morph into moaning that goes on and on an on – I totally feel like I’m failing at this parenting thing.
I always manage to talk through these situations but long sessions of explaining/guiding/negotiating/comforting/disciplining a child are so freaking emotionally exhausting.
And then there’s the issue of them being boys and loving playing with guns and I totally detest that kind of play but I just do not know whether there is any boy who does not like to play with guns and am just hoping that them knowing not to aim at others is enough…
Feelings to summarise this weekend: Gratitude mixed with a lot of Weltschmertz.
If you always manage to talk through these tantrums, then you already are ten times better parent than me :P If I’m in good mood then I can do it. If I’m not, then I TRY to stay calm but when the screaming/moaning doesn’t stop, I just snap. And feel bad afterwards.
Karl is a really stubborn two year old and whenever I say no to something he wants he just screams. He is very loud :P And Ellen’s main way of communication of these days seems to be moaning. Whenever she doesn’t like sth, she complains with this whiny voice so I snap half of the times.
I’m not sure which one is worse – screaming or moaning. Take your pick. I think it is time to get them to nursery and go to work, otherwise it might not end so well :P
By “talk through” I mean that my voice does get quite stern sometimes :| I haven’t snapped and yelled in a long time though… During school days everything usually goes very well but on weekends and holidays there’s more moaning (from the oldest) and crying (from the youngest). Thankfully everyone was in good mood this morning and let me go to work without any dramas – knowing that there WILL be good days is what helps me shake off the bad days :)
Well, if it is of any help, we all feel like we are failing as parents from time to time. When my daughter has a tantrum, I put her in her bedroom and I close the door.
As for the shooting in the US, I am in denial. It hasn’t sunk in yet…